Practicing Presence

As I reflect on this past month, I am reminded of the importance of making choices and taking actions that allow me to align my lifestyle with what I truly value. 

Going into this holiday season, my desire and intention were simple: I just wanted to be present — to soak in the sights, sounds, and flavors of the season, to cherish time with family and friends, to not worry about the little things and to focus on what I truly value. But these past several weeks, I’ve actually felt quite preoccupied most of the time rather than being present for what’s right in front of me.

Both my schedule and my mind have been full, and in the midst of it all, while I could sense that my heart craved calm and simplicity, I also felt powerless to change my circumstances. Until I had a moment of pause at the park to remind myself that I actually do have a choice in the matter. 

The other morning, I took a walk with my daughter and dog to our favorite local park. It’s a one-mile walk through quiet neighborhood streets with lots of mature trees and mountain views. I loaded up the stroller with books and snacks and put on one of my favorite podcasts for the walk.

It was the first time in several weeks, that we didn’t have to be anywhere. I can’t remember the last time that my circumstances allowed for a slow-paced morning like this with time to play without checking the time or keeping to a schedule. I was able to look around and notice the beauty all around me, to observe my daughter - to just settle in to the present moment, and it was wonderful.

In the midst of a very hectic season, I had no idea how nourishing a simple morning at the park could be.

Much of the busyness is my own doing. It’s not that I am saying yes to ALL the things, just MOST of the things. Between FOMO and obligation, saying yes to too many good things is a major struggle of mine. And the cost from this is significant—a yes to one thing means a no somewhere else - and it’s usually me or my family that suffer. 

I find myself in a near-constant state of hustling, thinking, “After this week, things will slow down and I’ll get back into a rhythm.” And then the week passes and nothing changes. The slowing down that I’ve been waiting for hasn’t come. I’m starting to recognize that if I want things to change, if I want to be present for the things that really matter to me, I have to move being good intentions and step into practices that will make my intention a reality. 

I’ve identified the following practices as key ways to bring my “be present” intention to life. I hope these ideas are helpful for you as you practice presence in your own life. And if you have any strategies that have really helped you in this endeavor, please let us know!

XO,
Bree

6 simple ways I am bringing my "be present" intention to life:

1. Say “No”

I’m increasingly convinced that busyness is the enemy of presence. We can not be busy and be fully present. Busyness is an epidemic in our culture, it’s become the norm for most of us. 

But the cost of busyness is significant. 

It requires a lot of boundaries and effort to actually create space to just be, and saying “no” is the first step. In the moment, declining an invitation can feel like I’m missing out, but in that moment I try to remind myself that it is a necessary step in being fully present. 

2. Disconnect from technology

There are a lot of great reasons I am drawn to pick up my phone. I connect with my community, stay on top of my schedule or to-do list, etc. But often, I check my phone mindlessly out of habit rather than due to a valid need or thoughtful intention and then I can easily spend way too much time checking my email, scrolling instagram, or getting sucked in to some other thing that pulls me away from the present. So I'm trying to create boundaries for myself to break the habit of checking my phone so much. 

-Charge my phone outside the bedroom at night

-Leave my phone at home while running an errand or going on a walk.

-Replace watching TV  with any of the following: get outside, meditate, journal, read, have a conversation with someone, or sit in silence. 

3. Clear out mental space

Besides busyness, mental preoccupation is one of the biggest things that prevents me from being present. Thankfully, there are some simple strategies for clearing out some mental space.

-I keep a small notebook or pad of sticky notes with me and jot down to-do items and other things I don't want to forget. (I also use the notes app in my phone, but I personally prefer pen and paper to reduce the time spent on my phone.) 

-Once I get it out of my head, then I can come back to it and either complete the task or schedule a time to complete it.

-If I am having  a hard time shutting off my thoughts to sleep at night, I use a small notebook or sticky note (which are always by my  bedside) and jot down EVERYTHING that is on my mind. Then, I can revisit it the next day. 

4. Do a body scan 

Bringing awareness to my body helps me get out of my head and allows me to settle in to the moment. A body can is simple and quick way to get out of my head. Here’s what I do:

-Get comfortable

-Take a few deep breaths

-Bring awareness to the to the top of my head

-Moving slowly down my body, I notice any sensations or areas of tension

-I try not to label them as good or bad, just notice them and continue scanning until I reach my toes

-Sometimes I’ll also do this while mentally repeating a mantra or calming words (the is helpful when I’m feeling anxious or stressed).

5. Breathe.

One of the great things about deep breaths is that they are always available, and they are free! When I am stressed, rushed, or have a lot on my mind, my breathing tends to be shallower and shorter, so I try to take a moment at least once a day to focus on my breathe. Here’s some ways to do that: 

6. Engage my senses

There are so many things that and distract me from what is around me. And I have spent many years of my life disconnecting from my body whether through over-eating (i.e not listening to my body’s fullness cues), powering through sickness or a headache, or just rushing through an experience and not taking it in fully. But I am finding that if I can connect to my body, I experience life more fully. These are some ways that I am practicing getting into my body. 

-Taking a walk and make note of the sights, smells, sounds 

-In a moment of waiting/boredom: instead of pulling out my phone, look around, notice 3 things I smell, see, hear, feel. (This is something you can engage my daughter in as well.)

-Sit down for a meal (instead of taking bites in between picking up toys, washing dishes, etc.), and notice the textures, flavors and smells of my food. Wait to take another bite until the taste of the previous bite has completely left my mouth.