Meet Meredith Ryness (Tidy LA)

I’m delighted to introduce the lovely face behind Tidy LA - Meredith Ryness.

I sat down with Meredith and asked her to share about her experience in motherhood as well as just a bit more about who she is, and her “why” behind what she does. I think you’ll see quickly that she is wise, compassionate and gracious soul. I think you’ll also see why I am thrilled that she will be presenting in our wellness workshop, Making Space, on January 30th (shameless plug: if you haven’t signed up, do so here!)

Tell us about you! 

I am a California native who spent 10 years living in New York City. I have been married to my college sweetheart since 2005 and we have three children: Mercy (10), Judah (8) and Cora (5). 

I love singing, taking hikes with my family and rollerskating. Fun fact: we took a 6 month, cross country road trip in an RV in 2017 and have been plotting ways to get back on the road ever since. 

Think about your early years as a mom, if you could talk to you then, what would you say to yourself? 

I would have encouraged me as a young mom to stop judging. Stop judging myself, my husband and other parents so harshly. In those early years, I was trying to figure out the “right” way to do everything as a parent. Which means I also spent a lot of time fixating on the “wrong” way to be a parent. I wish I could have had more compassion for myself and my fellow parents in those early years. It’s something I continue to work on. 

What do you love about being a mom?

Every stage has brought a new favorite for me but the common thread is that I love being my kids’ safe place. I love being a soothing presence on their journey through life. Whether it’s rocking a crying baby or listening to my almost-middle schooler talk through friend troubles, I feel that I am right where I am meant to be when I am “mending their sails” after a storm. 

What were your biggest struggles after becoming a mom? 

Identity. I didn’t know who I was anymore. All of my creative energy was eaten up by this sweet little human and I didn’t know if I would ever get it back. 

What were the some of the things you had to release after becoming a mom? What was it like to let go of those things?  

Besides judgmentalism (see earlier answer!), another struggle I have is the compulsion to be capable. I love to be capable. My early motherhood years were spent with other very capable moms and dads in New York City and it was easy to let that become my identity. “I don’t know how you do it!” became the highest praise. Now if someone ever says that to me, I take it as a warning sign that I am probably doing too much. After my 3rd child was born, I found my ability to handle things slipping. Out of desperation I began to do something that changed everything for me: accept help. I said “yes” to everyone that asked if they could help. I let people babysit, bring me coffee, food. I even let a friend clean my bathroom. Frankly, it was humiliating at first. I felt like I should be able to handle things on my own. Somewhere along the way though, humiliating turned into humbling. The amazing thing I discovered was that I became better friends with every single person that I allowed to help me. We need each other desperately. 

What do you do for self-care? And how often? 

I spent a lot of time in my head and being productive. Self care for me looks like inconsequential, physical fun. I love to roller skate, ride my scooter and hike. Getting out of my head and into my body is a great way to fill up my tank. I scooter several times a week and get to the rink or take a hike at least once a month. 

What drew you to this line of work?

There is a great Toni Morrison quote if you will forgive the use of it in this context:

 “The function of freedom is to free someone else.” I have found freedom from stuff and clutter and I find great joy in using that freedom to free others. I find it especially rewarding to work with mothers because I know the impact with be multiplied. 

What sparks joy for you?  

Being out in nature sparks the most joy for me. I spend a lot of time seeing possibility and potential improvements in the man-made word. My mind is totally at ease in the perfectly imperfect natural world. 

What do you hope “Making Space” will offer for the moms who attend? 

I hope that the moms who attend will come away feeling that they are not alone in their struggles to deal with the “stuff” of their lives. I hope that they feel empowered and equipped to make changes, big or small, that can bring more peace to their hearts and homes.  

What are you hoping to make more space for this year? 

I have a life-long dream of becoming a foster parent. It’s something that has been on my heart for as long as I can remember. I hope to make more space for that possibility. 

Is there anything else you’d like to share? 

I can’t wait to meet you!