We're still grieving.
My family recently returned home after spending over two weeks staying with family out of state. The time away was restful and fun and not very productive—a true gift during this time.
Since we’ve been home, I’ve been noticing and savoring all sorts of little things like:
The male peacock who visits our backyard daily
Being able to navigate the grocery store with ease
Cooking in my own kitchen
Walking my go-to route in my neighborhood
As much as I loved the change of scene and time with family, nothing beats the feeling of coming home. Returning to what’s familiar. What’s comfortable. The many little details that add sparks of joy and color to daily life. The things we take for granted when we they are all around us and then miss when they are gone for a time.
It’s now been 4 months since our lives shifted significantly due to Covid19. 4 months since the process of grieving “how life was” began.
And there are new things to grieve each day. Losing a job or facing financial insecurity. Holding out hope for school to return in fall only to find out it won’t be. Canceled trips and gatherings. A favorite local cafe closing. So may disappointments and readjustments.
Do you feel like you’re in the grief process right now? Maybe some of these stages of grief will resonate:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Sadness
Acceptance
Meaning making
When we are in grief, all of those big feelings can have a tendency to come out sideways, which is only compounded by the very real suffering that people are experiencing. And layer on top of that the fear and insecurity around the future. The lack of optimism and stability…that is a LOT to cope with.
Are ya feeling weary? I don’t blame you! And I’m right there with you.
Often when I read the news or go on social media, I get so discouraged by the state of the world. I see messages of anger, people yelling at each other, judging, shaming and blaming the “other.” This triggers my instinct to yell louder, judge harsher, and prove that I’m right and the “other” is wrong.
But I can choose to respond from my highest self. I can remember that “hurt people hurt people,” and a lot of people are hurting right now.
I know that finding some unity in this mess is not easy or simple. But I do wonder if remembering that we are all humans who want love, belonging and worthiness, and that we are all grieving right now might be a good place to start.
In that spirit, I want to invite you to join us for our next series on Community. Together, we’ll talk about vulnerability and authentic connection, creating meaningful communal experiences in the midst of the challenges of COVID, social media, and so much more.
Join us @motherwellmovement and at our upcoming crowdcasts as we grow in community together.
XO,
Bree
P.S. I was really inspired by this episode of Brené Brown’s podcast with guest David Kessler (he co-authored the 5 stages of grief with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and added the sixth stage after the tragic loss of his own son). Especially the parable of the long spoons that they reference - so good!
Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash