Can self-care be harmful?

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of excitement and relief when the kids are finally asleep for the night, am I right?

That glorious “click” of the bedroom door means it’s time to break out some snacks, maybe a glass of wine, and turn on whatever show we are currently obsessed with (right now it’s Outlander, but other recents have been The Last Dance, West World, and Big Little Lies). It is SO. fun.

After my daughter is in bed, I want to cram all of the “non-mom” things in and treat myself. But lately, the pull for “one more episode” at 11 p.m. and consistent late night snacking are starting to have a negative impact.  I'm bloated, over-tired, and over-caffeinated. Definitely NOT my best self. Plus, I have been too tired to get out of bed before my daughter wakes up.

So instead of starting my day with journaling, meditation and reflection, I open my eyes to a tiny human demanding snacks and milk.

My early morning ritual is one of my most valued self-care rhythms - it truly impacts my day and helps me be the mom I want to be. And I’m starting to see that if I want to prioritize what I truly need - there must be trade-offs. 

Sometimes, the things I do in the name of "self-care" or "me time" actually make it harder for me to show up how I want to in my life. Which has me wondering:

Can the things we do in the name of self-care actually become harmful?

Please hear me: I am not opposed to binge-watching shows or having treats. I love that stuff - clearly! And sometimes at the end of the day, I can't wait to plop on the couch, eat yummy snacks and watch something interesting with my husband. But when these things infringe upon other priorities, they become problematic.

I want to honor what I truly need. I want to invest in the things that actually make me more of the woman and mom I want to be. The things that make me feel more whole. That help me grow. Not only for my sake, but for my daughter and my husband's sake, too. 

What do you think? Is this something that you’ve struggled with? What self-care rituals and rhythms are giving you life and supporting your values right now? I’d love to hear. 

XO,

Bree

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash